Dating Tips for Pick-Up Artist

When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn’t keep around.

And it’s quite sad.

There are lots of women that has the potential to become a great girlfriend.

But I had my head higher than my ass.

…maybe that’s a little rude.

But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:

First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I’ve never fully recovered. But I’ve stopped trying to recover. And that’s what’s made me move past this “proving myself” thing.

I’ve accepted what I am.

Sure, I like video games and comic books.

But…

Do you believe girls have cooler interests?

Is getting drunk, Myspace and shopping is cooler than what I’m into?

It’s all have connection.

Self-acceptance is what really matters.

A girl won’t accept you if you don’t accept yourself first.

Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don’t like yourself?

She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.

Because you can’t really like a woman,  if you don’t like yourself.  And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?

Although it sounds easy but self-acceptance is rare. How often do you hear people say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!”

In my experience, almost NO ONE accepts themselves completely.

And I’m no exception.

The amount on how you accept yourself is the amount also on how women find you attractive, and people want to be around you.

It can be really hard to accept yourself more. Old beliefs creep in and tell you that you are not enough, that you must be more than you are.

But the degree to which you eliminate these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.

Because being yourself and not doubting yourself is the game. And game doesn’t stop after your opener, after making love, after a few dates. It never stops.

Because it is you.

You are not divided from your game.

Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.

You might be thinking “But I’m insecure, nervous and awkward.”  I disagree. That’s not you.

That is the distorted you.

That is you trying to come out, but your ego, your old mental habits stop you from expressing what you really want to express.

Before I proceed deeper, I want first to go to the second reason why I couldn’t keep girls around after sleeping with them.

I wasn’t aware of shaping.

Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t shape.

In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.

As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.

But it’s not really her fault. She’s just doing what she’s told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.

If you talked and treat a woman like she’s lucky you approached her, she’ll feel that way.

Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.

This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I’ve developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.

Women are different from each other. Like for instance, I may want a girl to be just a partner in bed. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.

I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.

Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.

But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.

The Attraction Code is all about finding out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the girls you want to meet, sleep with, and date.

If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.

http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd

“If YOU Want To Eliminate All The Disappointment That Can Come From Unanswered Calls and Having Women Flake Out on You, Then go to NoFlakesDVD.com”

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Dating can be your best pal.

…OR your worst adversary.

Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave
to his natural need to procreate.

Then there goes a common quote,  “He thinks
with his… You know.”

Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are
physically unsatisfied.

But men are also goal oriented.

We are doers, and need to achieve things and
affect the world in a positive way.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve personally
faced is balancing the two - my urges and
achieving my goals.

When you are single, dating can take a lot of
time. If you don’t know what you’re doing,
women will suck away at your time.

Before you know it, you are spending hours in
the park, feeding the birds and cuddling…
there’s nothing wrong with spending a quality
time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU

DON’T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.

Goals take time, and so do women.

In fact, it’s their NATURE to take up a man’s
time - it’s her way of getting you to invest
in her. That way there’s less chance of you
leaving if she gets pregnant (this comes from
our caveman days, so to speak).

It is really tricky to manage your time with
women. You see, giving their time to women is
what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are
“givers.” They like to please women, protect
them, and give them good feelings.

Men also have a urges that can completely take
over your thoughts.

Both of these things can get of you making the
most of your life, your time.

Now take a minute to ask yourself about this,
“WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?”

Now I know it wasn’t about “money,” or
“control over my life,” or “lots of my free
time.”

It was probably something like “feeling of
safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure,
excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel
good about herself, etc.”

There are two ways that I think why men have
problems with how they use their time with
women.

First, they overcompensate with other stuff -
like spending too much time or money on a
woman because they think that the gifts they

REALLY wanted to give aren’t that valuable.

Second, men think that they are “getting”
something valuable when a woman spends her
time with them.

Guys was brainwash by the society to believe
that women are a prize to attain, and that
there’s some inherent value in a pretty face.

It’s a LIE!

The best thing is to see women for what they
are, nothing more, nothing less. They are
cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that
important, AND THEY CAN’T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!

Now it can be really hard to break out of this
mental prison of feeling inferior to women.

Your mental habits are subtle and hard to
notice because you’ve been doing them for
years.

Young men are taught that their urges  is
crude and silly, and that it is just a favor
that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.

There’s a syndrome that I call a “doofus dad”
syndrome. There’s another societal factor going
on, . In almost every TV commercial and
sitcom, the “dad” or “boyfriend” or “husband”
is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the
mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her
superior intelligence to fix the situation.

This will bring to the idea that the time of
the women is more valuable than men because of
the perception that women are “better.”

You will feel obligated to give a woman a LOT
OF TIME if your time is not so valuable.

But here’s the thing - if you are giving a
woman too much time, you won’t be present for
most of that time. You will be distracted,
resentful, you will give her your “half-assed”
attention.

I just realize this after analyzing lots of
dates I went on women.

After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION
to women even though I’m only giving a smaller
amounts of my time.

Not only did this make our time better, it
created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left
women craving more.

Now my women can’t get enough of me - in fact,
I don’t GIVE THEM “enough.”

You see, “enough” would mean, “overexposure”
to me, and women can’t be pulled to what they
already have.

The proper way to manage your time is by being
HONEST. And I don’t recommend you to play
games with women and pretend to be busy or
whatever.

No need of games, just be real with the girl -
and don’t spend more time that you want.

Enjoy whatever free time you have with women
but still with focus on your personal goals.

Be the man on the go.

Now in a short amount of time it requires that
you are able to meet a lot of women, which

I’ll have to cover in another newsletter.

It makes me sad to see men waste their lives
chasing and “putting up with” women, and then
they are buried in their coffin ALONE.

Women aren’t property that you can keep or
somehow take with you when you die. Think
about that.

You can’t “keep” a woman by investing all your
time with her.

One more thing here - if you start being
honest with the amount of time you are willing
give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.

It either she will make you feel guilty or you
will feel it on your own. That’s ok, it just
means that you have a weak focus.

If you are following your true ways, it will
usually from the social norm.

If you are in the mental habit of adopting the
values others try to impose onto you, you will
most likely experience some discomfort,
tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.

That’s why I set and develop the Attraction
Code. It’s all about self-control, finding
true path, and letting the real ‘you’ emerge
from within.

And no, we don’t try to impose our values or
goals onto you. We think you’ll be able to do
that for yourself, given the proper guidance.

Vin

If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a “10″, then you should read this letter.

But before anything else, let’s go waaaay back…

It was in my high school, that there was a girl in my class who was seems so perfect.

She was smart, cool, and so beautiful it was hard to look at her (and yet I couldn’t look away)…

She was one of the popular kids, but was friendly to everyone.

Occasionally we talked and as I look back I realize that we were flirting (I was so stupid to realize at that time).

I badly wanted to ask her to a senior prom but I chickened out at the last minute.

A few years later I realized she had a crush on me all senior year.

I have talked to lot of men and this seems a common experience to them. they missed an opportunity to meet this ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who you crushed on from afar, or the girl had broke their heart…

Ah, the hard to tame “10,” a perfect girl that every guy dream of but never seems to have it.

I have a lot to say about the concept of “10’s,” In deeper sense they are another “breed” of women, but it is on the way they think that makes them so.

Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help you in finding your “perfect girl.”

First of all, the concept of a “10″ is a myth. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more “valuable” just because she looks nicer than other women.

A woman that turns you on and have a great chemistry with you is the only true “10″ and is the one that’s perfect for you.

Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10’s, given you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create options for yourself.

Treating a woman differently than other women just because she is prettier is a recipe for failure.

Why?

Because a lot of guys do that.

A woman knows what you’re thinking and sees you as shallow.

But there definitely are certain women that seem on another “level” of beauty than the rest. These women get treated much differently than other women.

This is important to understand so that you know how to deal with these kinds of women.

As what I’ve said,  you shouldn’t treat women “differently.”

Let me clear this up.

You shouldn’t treat them BETTER than other women. But there are a couple things you need to know.

First, she don’t like a guy that chases her for her looks alone.

More than anything else, a woman values a guy that appreciates her personality.

Now for the sake of yours, I”ll be giving you a heads up.

There are two types of “10’s.”

The high self-esteem, and the low self-esteem.

The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10’s. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn’t EARN that attention.

In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.

It may sound harsh but I call it like that.

These women take away their validation will make them flip out and do anything to get it back. They also respond to jerk-behavior.

Anything.

(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)

Now high self-esteem 10’s are women that have had a taste of the elite -they realized early on that high levels of society were attainable to them, and they made an effort to be successful, intelligent, and make the most of their lives.

These women know that they are just a little closer to a great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to put in the extra effort.

Usually these women have good attitudes, are intelligent, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.

Actually, most of beautiful women I’ve dated didn’t even go to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).

And here’s another interesting thing. These women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?

Because they have high standards for themselves, and since most guys are either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it’s rare that they meet another man who is on their level.

But here’s the good news. These women are the easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.

The Attraction Code is about being a “male 10,” the best man you can be.

When you start to embody the Attraction Code you will surely notice an interesting thing.

Occasionally women that are less attractive will be rude to you and you’ll get an odd responses from them- that is because they know they’re not on your level - I call this as Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some girls will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.

But the most attractive, cool women will respond much differently…you’ll be amazed to see the most beautiful women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their “level.”

The woman will thinks “finally, a guy who can hang with me; he’s confident and treats me like a real person. And he’s the only guy who’s actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car.”

The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. Of course you’ll also enjoy plenty of “adventures” with all kinds of women, but ultimately this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.

There are plenty of 10’s out there waiting for you.

Don’t spend another year of your life missing out.

Vin

I will be sharing with you today a very important and powerful subject when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of a women and anyone in your life.

This subject is no other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.

But Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling. I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.

Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.

Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.

Even if the women knows that the story is true, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.

I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.

You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in “Role Playing” and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in “Role Play Conversations” raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)

However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.

When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.

This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

What is storytelling  > > >

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Why is storytelling important > > >

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.

There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

* Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.

Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.

People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

* Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

* Storytelling develops stronger social skills

This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

* You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like “Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you).”

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story. We are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be neglect. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.

If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major yet entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

I have already anticipated that there are going to be people that would say they have no interesting stories. This is absolutely not the true; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Don’t be modest; even if it’s a silly story write it down. You can’t be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can’t think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don’t even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to construct a powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.

I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

So, just keep an eye for the next letter and get ready to really take storytelling to the on the action.

One of the mistakes that some guys commits when they first meet a girl is to show that they understand the GAME. Like, they’ll  start talking about evolution, alpha males, how girls will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know girls are more intimate guys and blah blah.

I will refer to this kind of act as nonsense as “The Talk of Death”.

As a pick-up guru this kind of things will make your conversation topics very poor with women. Especially hot ones.

It might work with the social anthropologist grad student, but to the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, there are a few major things wrong with this strategy:

(BTW - if you happen to find a girl that loves this kind of stuff, by all means go on with it, I’m just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION techniques for most of the female population)

1. It puts her on the defensive. It’s exactly like one country revealing it’s battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are “thinking too much” about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you’re going to be a mind-trip. Not good.

2. There are chances that her awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you’re keeping up on my newsletters which is called “Stepped Awareness”.

Have you ever tried played a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn’t get it?

It’s because their awareness didn’t go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song…

What would expect to a girl who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes,  jewelries and her problems with her boss, wouldn’t you think it’s just too alien and weird for her when you talk about “the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club”.

This is the same reason why you’ll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He’s normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without being ashamed!

3. To a girl that DOES understand it; you talking about it make it seem like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It’s obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women are capable of open relationships and tend to also like women, and generally a lot of fun.

But here’s the thing - the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you’ll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it’s some huge revelation!

So the moment you do it, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you’re looking for, will instantly disqualify you.

So… What to do instead?

Well - one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:

**Understand society’s programming, understand her specific programming, and appear to be under the exact same programming.**

Once you try these techniques,  you’re absolutely see a big difference in your game.

Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)