Dating Tips for Pick-Up Artist

Okay guys, I know you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful.

Today we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!

In “Part I” we covered why storytelling is important and how it can improve your game dramatically. And there were two things I asked of you

One was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and the other was to write down 5 things about your personality that you want people to know about you.

We are going to start out working with these things.

For now, your main demographic with these stories is women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)

To start with, take out the list of your  7-10 story ideas and cut them down to 5 solid ideas eliminating  the ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people.

Reflect on these 5 stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection too, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.

After reflecting on the 5 solid ideas, we are going to just concentrate on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.

You may also ask your friends about which story topics they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.

And of course I have anticipated also that there were some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.

As I said before I would do this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.

Now I am going to try to debunk all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a prime example)

“So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don’t want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home.”

I know, it’s an annoying story… but we can turn this into something awesome.

First we need to understand the Okay guys, this is “Part II” of the storytelling newsletter.

In “Part I” we covered why storytelling is important and how it can improve your game dramatically.

Now that you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!

In “Part I” there were two things I asked of you

One was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and the other was to write down 5 things about your identity that you want people to know about you.

We are going to start out working with these things.

First lets take out the 7-10 story ideas and cut them down to 5 solid ideas, cross off ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were “you kind of had to be there” stories.

Now that you got 5 solid ideas down we are going to just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.

To narrow it down, reflect on these 5 stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection too, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.

For now, your main demographic with these stories is women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)

Also feel free to ask your friends about which story subjects they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.

And of course I’m sure there were still some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.

I said I would do this exercise along with you, however, critiquing all 3 of my stories will take too long so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.

Now I am going to try to discard all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a prime example)

“So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don’t want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home.”

Okay, pretty annoying story…I know, but we can turn this into something awesome.

First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.

The first component, is “The Hook Question”

The object of the hook question is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.

You use the hook question to captivate the group and the hook question is the line you deliver to introduce your story.

When using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.

Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.

There are two different types of hook questions.

An open ended hook question and a yes or no hook question.

I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.

So a possible open ended hook question for my story would be “How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?”

A possible yes or no hook question would be “Have you ever been to club voodoo?”

So let’s add this to the story… (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)

I like open ended hook questions more so to start my story in the interaction I would say

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just can’t get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at club voodoo…(rest of story)

Now that you have the hook question down, we are going to rewrite our stories to demonstrate aspects of identity because the next step is to demonstrate personality.

There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.

My 5 things were:

I am a musician
I am a very social person
I have a high and fun energy
I have a good sense of humor
I am interested in video and photography

Now you want to try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.

Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.

Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.

You should always have tension build up to excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.

Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.

So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality…

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can’t to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).

Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)

So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)…you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).

Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.

As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.

The last component of story is the punch line. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it’s over. It can be one line or much more…

To successfully deliver the punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.

The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.

The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.

Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy’s part and I don’t want to associate myself with friends like that. Also…a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.

So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.

Nothing wrong with changing up some incidents if it makes things more entertaining…after all…it’s a “STORY”

So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito…with a really bad taste in clothing…you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway…my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table…and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know…that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened…it was full…so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!……………….the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn’t see him again…I don’t know what the big deal is…I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)

Now if you have done these three steps to your stories, you got some great stuff on your hands.

HOWEVER….there is still a few more sprinkles you are going to want to add to your story someday.

These things are the secret little tips of successful storytelling.

The first and most important is creating check in points.

Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.

Examples are “That ever happen to you?” “Don’t you hate when that happens?” “You know what I mean?”

Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.

Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. “Kind of like that over there” “Reminds me of her (point to person).”

You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won’t need one near the end.

If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.

An example in a passage of my story would be:

“Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing….kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar).”

You don’t always need a full response with your check in points. A nod is perfectly okay when regaining focus of the audience.

The first component, is “The Hook Question”. And there are two different types of hook questions:
1.    open ended hook question and
2.    a yes or no hook question.

Now the object of the hook question is to captivate the attention of the group making sure everyone in you are telling the story gets involved.

The hook question is the line you deliver to introduce your story.

When using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.

Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.

For the two different types of hook questions I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.

Using my story lets have an example for the two different hook questions:

For open ended hook question would be “How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?”

For a yes or no hook question would be “Have you ever been to club voodoo?”

Now that you have the idea you can now have your own hook question to add for your example stories.

I like open ended hook questions more so to start my story in the interaction I would say

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just can’t get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at club voodoo…(rest of story)

The next component is to demonstrate personality.

There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.

My 5 things were:

I am a very social person
I am interested in video and photography
I am a musician
I have a high and fun energy
I have a good sense of humor

Now you want to try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.

Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.

Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.

You should always have tension build up to excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.

Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.

So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality…

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can’t to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).

Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)

So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)…you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).

Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.

As you can see, the story starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends.

The last component of story is the punch line. A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it’s over. It can be one line or much more…

To successfully deliver the punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.

The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.

The actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.

Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy’s part and I don’t want to associate myself with friends like that. Also…a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.

So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.

Nothing wrong with changing up some incidents if it makes things more entertaining…after all…it’s a “STORY”

So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:

Me: “Hey guys…how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!”

Group: “blah blah”

Me: “Yeah that’s interesting so check this out…the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my “group” and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won’t back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito…with a really bad taste in clothing…you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway…my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table…and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know…that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened…it was full…so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!……………….the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn’t see him again…I don’t know what the big deal is…I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)

Now if you’ll start using these three steps to your stories, you will surely gonna got some great stuff on your hands.

BUT WAIT ….There is still a few more sprinkles that I want to share with you and you will add this to your story someday.

These things are the secret little tips of a successful storyteller.

The first and most important is creating check in points.

Check in points are mini questions or lines you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.

Examples are “That ever happen to you?” “Don’t you hate when that happens?” “You know what I mean?”

Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.

Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. For example, “Kind of like that over there” “Reminds me of her (point to person).”

You should at least have two check in points near the start and in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won’t need one near the end.

If you start to see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.

An example in a passage of my story would be:

“Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing….kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar).”

You don’t always need a full response with your check in points. A simple nod is would be okay when regaining focus of the audience.

When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn’t keep around.

And it’s quite sad.

There are lots of women that has the potential to become a great girlfriend.

But I had my head higher than my ass.

…maybe that’s a little rude.

But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:

First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I’ve never fully recovered. But I’ve stopped trying to recover. And that’s what’s made me move past this “proving myself” thing.

I’ve accepted what I am.

Sure, I like video games and comic books.

But…

Do you believe girls have cooler interests?

Is getting drunk, Myspace and shopping is cooler than what I’m into?

It’s all have connection.

Self-acceptance is what really matters.

A girl won’t accept you if you don’t accept yourself first.

Can you imagine a woman wanting to be your girlfriend when you don’t like yourself?

She will HATE your company and not want to be around you.

Because you can’t really like a woman,  if you don’t like yourself.  And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who do you think wants to date a loser?

Although it sounds easy but self-acceptance is rare. How often do you hear people say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me!”

In my experience, almost NO ONE accepts themselves completely.

And I’m no exception.

The amount on how you accept yourself is the amount also on how women find you attractive, and people want to be around you.

It can be really hard to accept yourself more. Old beliefs creep in and tell you that you are not enough, that you must be more than you are.

But the degree to which you eliminate these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.

Because being yourself and not doubting yourself is the game. And game doesn’t stop after your opener, after making love, after a few dates. It never stops.

Because it is you.

You are not divided from your game.

Your game IS YOU. This game is the degree to which you can demonstrates who you are.

You might be thinking “But I’m insecure, nervous and awkward.”  I disagree. That’s not you.

That is the distorted you.

That is you trying to come out, but your ego, your old mental habits stop you from expressing what you really want to express.

Before I proceed deeper, I want first to go to the second reason why I couldn’t keep girls around after sleeping with them.

I wasn’t aware of shaping.

Knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance. And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t shape.

In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.

As you can see, women are very flexible. They have a lot of things that they can expose to a guy. Men usually tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.

But it’s not really her fault. She’s just doing what she’s told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.

So if you approach and treat a woman like a pedestal, she will act accordingly.

If you talked and treat a woman like she’s lucky you approached her, she’ll feel that way.

Also if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle after mating with her, she will do so.

This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I’ve developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.

Women are different from each other. Like for instance, I may want a girl to be just a partner in bed. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.

I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.

Also I think all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist, and how frustrating it was not see those women again.

But when I began to accept myself and analyze what I wanted, it all came together.

The Attraction Code is all about finding out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the girls you want to meet, sleep with, and date.

If you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine through The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE.

http://www.vindicarlo.com/noflakesdvd

“If YOU Want To Eliminate All The Disappointment That Can Come From Unanswered Calls and Having Women Flake Out on You, Then go to NoFlakesDVD.com”

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Dating can be your best pal.

…OR your worst adversary.

Most of the time, a man can feel like a slave
to his natural need to procreate.

Then there goes a common quote,  “He thinks
with his… You know.”

Well it is hard NOT think that way if you are
physically unsatisfied.

But men are also goal oriented.

We are doers, and need to achieve things and
affect the world in a positive way.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve personally
faced is balancing the two - my urges and
achieving my goals.

When you are single, dating can take a lot of
time. If you don’t know what you’re doing,
women will suck away at your time.

Before you know it, you are spending hours in
the park, feeding the birds and cuddling…
there’s nothing wrong with spending a quality
time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU

DON’T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.

Goals take time, and so do women.

In fact, it’s their NATURE to take up a man’s
time - it’s her way of getting you to invest
in her. That way there’s less chance of you
leaving if she gets pregnant (this comes from
our caveman days, so to speak).

It is really tricky to manage your time with
women. You see, giving their time to women is
what most guys WANT to give. By nature men are
“givers.” They like to please women, protect
them, and give them good feelings.

Men also have a urges that can completely take
over your thoughts.

Both of these things can get of you making the
most of your life, your time.

Now take a minute to ask yourself about this,
“WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?”

Now I know it wasn’t about “money,” or
“control over my life,” or “lots of my free
time.”

It was probably something like “feeling of
safety, good feelings, sexual pleasure,
excitement, relaxation, make her smile or feel
good about herself, etc.”

There are two ways that I think why men have
problems with how they use their time with
women.

First, they overcompensate with other stuff -
like spending too much time or money on a
woman because they think that the gifts they

REALLY wanted to give aren’t that valuable.

Second, men think that they are “getting”
something valuable when a woman spends her
time with them.

Guys was brainwash by the society to believe
that women are a prize to attain, and that
there’s some inherent value in a pretty face.

It’s a LIE!

The best thing is to see women for what they
are, nothing more, nothing less. They are
cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that
important, AND THEY CAN’T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!

Now it can be really hard to break out of this
mental prison of feeling inferior to women.

Your mental habits are subtle and hard to
notice because you’ve been doing them for
years.

Young men are taught that their urges  is
crude and silly, and that it is just a favor
that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.

There’s a syndrome that I call a “doofus dad”
syndrome. There’s another societal factor going
on, . In almost every TV commercial and
sitcom, the “dad” or “boyfriend” or “husband”
is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the
mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her
superior intelligence to fix the situation.

This will bring to the idea that the time of
the women is more valuable than men because of
the perception that women are “better.”

You will feel obligated to give a woman a LOT
OF TIME if your time is not so valuable.

But here’s the thing - if you are giving a
woman too much time, you won’t be present for
most of that time. You will be distracted,
resentful, you will give her your “half-assed”
attention.

I just realize this after analyzing lots of
dates I went on women.

After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION
to women even though I’m only giving a smaller
amounts of my time.

Not only did this make our time better, it
created MASSIVE ATTRACTION because I left
women craving more.

Now my women can’t get enough of me - in fact,
I don’t GIVE THEM “enough.”

You see, “enough” would mean, “overexposure”
to me, and women can’t be pulled to what they
already have.

The proper way to manage your time is by being
HONEST. And I don’t recommend you to play
games with women and pretend to be busy or
whatever.

No need of games, just be real with the girl -
and don’t spend more time that you want.

Enjoy whatever free time you have with women
but still with focus on your personal goals.

Be the man on the go.

Now in a short amount of time it requires that
you are able to meet a lot of women, which

I’ll have to cover in another newsletter.

It makes me sad to see men waste their lives
chasing and “putting up with” women, and then
they are buried in their coffin ALONE.

Women aren’t property that you can keep or
somehow take with you when you die. Think
about that.

You can’t “keep” a woman by investing all your
time with her.

One more thing here - if you start being
honest with the amount of time you are willing
give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.

It either she will make you feel guilty or you
will feel it on your own. That’s ok, it just
means that you have a weak focus.

If you are following your true ways, it will
usually from the social norm.

If you are in the mental habit of adopting the
values others try to impose onto you, you will
most likely experience some discomfort,
tension, guilt, even loneliness at first.

That’s why I set and develop the Attraction
Code. It’s all about self-control, finding
true path, and letting the real ‘you’ emerge
from within.

And no, we don’t try to impose our values or
goals onto you. We think you’ll be able to do
that for yourself, given the proper guidance.

Vin

If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a “10″, then you should read this letter.

But before anything else, let’s go waaaay back…

It was in my high school, that there was a girl in my class who was seems so perfect.

She was smart, cool, and so beautiful it was hard to look at her (and yet I couldn’t look away)…

She was one of the popular kids, but was friendly to everyone.

Occasionally we talked and as I look back I realize that we were flirting (I was so stupid to realize at that time).

I badly wanted to ask her to a senior prom but I chickened out at the last minute.

A few years later I realized she had a crush on me all senior year.

I have talked to lot of men and this seems a common experience to them. they missed an opportunity to meet this ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who you crushed on from afar, or the girl had broke their heart…

Ah, the hard to tame “10,” a perfect girl that every guy dream of but never seems to have it.

I have a lot to say about the concept of “10’s,” In deeper sense they are another “breed” of women, but it is on the way they think that makes them so.

Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help you in finding your “perfect girl.”

First of all, the concept of a “10″ is a myth. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more “valuable” just because she looks nicer than other women.

A woman that turns you on and have a great chemistry with you is the only true “10″ and is the one that’s perfect for you.

Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10’s, given you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create options for yourself.

Treating a woman differently than other women just because she is prettier is a recipe for failure.

Why?

Because a lot of guys do that.

A woman knows what you’re thinking and sees you as shallow.

But there definitely are certain women that seem on another “level” of beauty than the rest. These women get treated much differently than other women.

This is important to understand so that you know how to deal with these kinds of women.

As what I’ve said,  you shouldn’t treat women “differently.”

Let me clear this up.

You shouldn’t treat them BETTER than other women. But there are a couple things you need to know.

First, she don’t like a guy that chases her for her looks alone.

More than anything else, a woman values a guy that appreciates her personality.

Now for the sake of yours, I”ll be giving you a heads up.

There are two types of “10’s.”

The high self-esteem, and the low self-esteem.

The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10’s. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn’t EARN that attention.

In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.

It may sound harsh but I call it like that.

These women take away their validation will make them flip out and do anything to get it back. They also respond to jerk-behavior.

Anything.

(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)

Now high self-esteem 10’s are women that have had a taste of the elite -they realized early on that high levels of society were attainable to them, and they made an effort to be successful, intelligent, and make the most of their lives.

These women know that they are just a little closer to a great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to put in the extra effort.

Usually these women have good attitudes, are intelligent, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.

Actually, most of beautiful women I’ve dated didn’t even go to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).

And here’s another interesting thing. These women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?

Because they have high standards for themselves, and since most guys are either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it’s rare that they meet another man who is on their level.

But here’s the good news. These women are the easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.

The Attraction Code is about being a “male 10,” the best man you can be.

When you start to embody the Attraction Code you will surely notice an interesting thing.

Occasionally women that are less attractive will be rude to you and you’ll get an odd responses from them- that is because they know they’re not on your level - I call this as Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some girls will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.

But the most attractive, cool women will respond much differently…you’ll be amazed to see the most beautiful women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their “level.”

The woman will thinks “finally, a guy who can hang with me; he’s confident and treats me like a real person. And he’s the only guy who’s actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car.”

The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. Of course you’ll also enjoy plenty of “adventures” with all kinds of women, but ultimately this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.

There are plenty of 10’s out there waiting for you.

Don’t spend another year of your life missing out.

Vin

I will be sharing with you today a very important and powerful subject when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of a women and anyone in your life.

This subject is no other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.

But Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling. I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.

Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.

Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.

Even if the women knows that the story is true, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.

I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.

You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in “Role Playing” and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in “Role Play Conversations” raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)

However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.

When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.

This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

What is storytelling  > > >

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Why is storytelling important > > >

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.

There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

* Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.

Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.

People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

* Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

* Storytelling develops stronger social skills

This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

* You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like “Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you).”

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story. We are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be neglect. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.

If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major yet entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

I have already anticipated that there are going to be people that would say they have no interesting stories. This is absolutely not the true; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Don’t be modest; even if it’s a silly story write it down. You can’t be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can’t think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don’t even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to construct a powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.

I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

So, just keep an eye for the next letter and get ready to really take storytelling to the on the action.

One of the mistakes that some guys commits when they first meet a girl is to show that they understand the GAME. Like, they’ll  start talking about evolution, alpha males, how girls will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know girls are more intimate guys and blah blah.

I will refer to this kind of act as nonsense as “The Talk of Death”.

As a pick-up guru this kind of things will make your conversation topics very poor with women. Especially hot ones.

It might work with the social anthropologist grad student, but to the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to, there are a few major things wrong with this strategy:

(BTW - if you happen to find a girl that loves this kind of stuff, by all means go on with it, I’m just saying it should not be used as an ATTRACTION techniques for most of the female population)

1. It puts her on the defensive. It’s exactly like one country revealing it’s battle plans to another country that it is at war with.

It shows that you are “thinking too much” about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes her think you’re going to be a mind-trip. Not good.

2. There are chances that her awareness level is about 10% of yours.

Especially if you’re keeping up on my newsletters which is called “Stepped Awareness”.

Have you ever tried played a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn’t get it?

It’s because their awareness didn’t go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song…

What would expect to a girl who spends the majority of her time thinking about new shoes,  jewelries and her problems with her boss, wouldn’t you think it’s just too alien and weird for her when you talk about “the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club”.

This is the same reason why you’ll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He’s normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without being ashamed!

3. To a girl that DOES understand it; you talking about it make it seem like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.

5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It’s obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.

These women are capable of open relationships and tend to also like women, and generally a lot of fun.

But here’s the thing - the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.

And when you get something intuitively, you’ll never go out of your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it’s some huge revelation!

So the moment you do it, the women who are most eligible for the lifestyle you’re looking for, will instantly disqualify you.

So… What to do instead?

Well - one of the most powerful techniques I use is this:

**Understand society’s programming, understand her specific programming, and appear to be under the exact same programming.**

Once you try these techniques,  you’re absolutely see a big difference in your game.

Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and of course, if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)

http://www.vindicarlo.com The Attraction code video. Vin DiCarlo talks about how he developed his book, The Attraction Code. For more information about the contents of the book and to sign up for a free 45 minute masterclass introduction to the attraction code visit www.AttractionCodeBook.com.

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Have you avoided having a conversation to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?

Or maybe you fear of getting embarrass if you approached a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

Most guys shy away from approaching women who are with other guys for a couple reasons.

They assume that the girl is “with” the guy, and assume he’s her boyfriend.

Guys shouldn’t think this as a barrier of talking to a woman. Plus - she’s not a guy’s “slave” or a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses, especially in a social situation like in the bar where people meet other people.

You will extremely look confident if you approach more often a woman who is “with” a guy and this can draw out the guy’s jealous side, making him look weak and insecure.

The other reason points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception that’s why they avoid talking to woman who is “with” a guy.

Men tend to be threatened by other men, they assumed that the “other guy” is more cooler, stronger, or somehow powerful than they are.

This is founded in an ancient survival strategy that has been hardwired into the human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more “dominant” person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally.

So it’s smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead or exiled from the tribe.

And then their genes were taken out of the “game” so to speak.

Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.

The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily avoid women.

The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to another guy in the bar or club, she’s not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached a woman thinking she was “with” a guy, only to find out he was some random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I’ve missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

DON’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.

You will know it if you try to act and find out. Just remember that in time that they are together you should be alert an respectful, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and may start a confrontation.

So use your brain - just don’t be stagnant in making a false assumptions.

The other important thing I want to talk about is the idea that another man can be more “dominant” than you.

The alpha male during caveman days had a real power - he knows where to get resources like food, and was physically stronger, that he could beat up competitors. The concept of the alpha male is completely obsolete.

But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you probably have an access to food and shelter if you’re reading this. You’re all set.

Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern world.

It is always to your loss if you attack another person because the police always win.

If you mind doing that, you are LETTING RANDOM MEN TO STOP YOU FOR NO REASON!

Pardon my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???

I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!

You are going to look back on all the things you did and didn’t do, when the time comes that you’re on your deathbed. How painful it is to say “I haven’t approached that girl because I was scared of another guy,” or “I could have enjoyed being with so many beautiful women if only I have approached them even if they were TALKING to another guy.”

I don’t want to happen that to you.

So let’s look at this on a deeper level. Seeing another guy as more dominant means you don’t truly understand dominance.

You see, if you’re concerned with who is more dominant you instantly make yourself NOT dominant. There’s a better focus.

You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become dominant. And dominant men doesn’t care who is more dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it is that they are doing or want.

So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead of worrying about whether or not he’s more dominant than you, focus on the girls.

I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it’s proven to be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don’t even know the guy - they just meet him.

Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely the rest know him.

Normally, seldom for women to go out with a guy they are dating, more often they would like to bring with them a guy that is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable when they go out on the town.

And aside from that, if he IS with one of the girls, then it will be a fair game because it means that he’s NOT with the other girls.

If you are concerned with who’s the alpha male, then you are NOT the alpha male by definition. As a matter of fact, it’s questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern era.

Don’t assume anything, get your focus in a USEFUL place, and don’t let some random dude prevent you from enjoying YOUR LIFE!

Does it ever feel like WORK meeting women?

And how does it feel that despite of all your hard work
you’re still not getting the success you’re looking for?

If you agreed to those questions, then you may continue
reading.

Honestly, going for a date can be quite frustrating.

Seeing a woman that you like but has already a boyfriend.

You think everything will be going great with a woman and
then she stops answering your calls.

Though of course we know that it is the man that exerts a
lot of moves in order to make things right and moving.

You must have the courage in the way you approach.

YOU have to keep the conversation going at first, YOU have
to escalate physically, YOU have to get HER number or rack
your brain to figure out a logistical way to take her home,
YOU have to plan the date.

You know what, the standards for men’s behavior are much
higher than women.

(Don’t get me started on that…let’s just think that girls
are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because
they are “pretty.”)

That can be debilitating, especially if you don’t have an
“extroverted” trait.

… I have often heard a complain about “extroversion
fatigue” from a client of mine.

I exactly knew what he meant about because I used to
struggle with it before.

Looking back I used to teach myself about pick-up, I would
go out, talking to three or four women and then find myself
mentally DRAINED.

I would take a break and rest!

I am working hard than I was in my full time job instead of
having some fun and relax in those situation. Now you see
how strange it is.

I would go home and be absolutely DEAD

… from SPEAKING TO WOMEN!

Does it make sense to you???

And there was the overall, general dating fatigue. The
emotional ups and downs, the discouraging results, the
effort I had to make just to get women to hang out with me
or to sleep with me.

It is just like I am having an overtime in my full-time job!

When I first got in this game, I literally had to force
myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I
admit, I was a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)

All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those
stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual
frustration)

It’s like a professional athletes that pushes themselves in
the gym, that is how I pursue myself.

I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS and working on my muscles
that I’ve never done before.

If you do understand any of this stuff, then probably you
are working too hard in  your interaction with women.

Here are the 3 reasons for this.

First, being socially proactive may be new to you.

As I can remember, I don’t have a pectoral muscles - (the
one that is right at the top of your chest just under the
clavicle that makes the chest look bigger)  before I started
lifting weights.

Actually I do have a small muscle but it was so weak that I
can’t even feel them. So every time worked them out I was
incredibly sore and could barely move my arms. And it took
me three good weeks to really feel them.

And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the
muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts
of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is
the same way.

It takes time to develop these new neuro-pathways on your
own. If you’re not pushing yourself HARD day in-day out, it
can take awhile, depending on your skill level.

The second reason that can cause a feeling of social fatigue
is that when you think that there is too much to do or learn
when meeting women.

Actually this is more on having an overwhelmed feeling and
has somewhat a little different from “fatigue.”

Being overwhelmed by certain thing can cause exhaustion to
your mind that can lead to some sort of discouragement and
depression. It’s somewhat saying “ugh, I’ve had enough of
this too much. I’m giving up”

This will hinder you from doing any progress. I was in this
situation when I was putting a lot of theories on my notes.
And as I looked at them I’ve seen that I am just like
looking for a huge and complex physics equation.

Doing ALL of this stuff just to had a quality women in my
life was so discouraging to think.

The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and
mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy
in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn’t
useful to pickup.

I’d say 99 percent of guys get it wrong when it comes to
attracting women. The thing is, the woman usually can’t
tell, because most guys learn to hide their inner “stuff”
after a few harsh rejections.

But of course we can’t oppose to the reality that when a guy
is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win
her or at least know if the women likes him too.

It’s the man’s role to IMPRESS the woman and EARN a
fulfillment for your urge from her - as what we get from the
media, our parents and friends.

So Pathetic!

I see some advertisement of a guy bungling around to a cute
girl trying to impress her, and looking like a fool while
the girl giggles like she’s better because she is woman. - I
hate that kind of thing.

So much for that… what I’m trying to imply here is that
when it comes to the matter of controlling a date, guys are
being screwed.

But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works
when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.

Once you get to highest level of your interaction with
women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need
to be at your best both physically and emotionally.

A GUY AT HIS BEST.